It's almost that time again. You know the time - the walls in your house are starting to close in. How many days in the past week has the sun been out? At all? The snow isn't pretty anymore - it's muddy and old, and the cold is past refreshing. At the end of summer it almost seems we yearned for the cold, to inhale the crispness of autumn, to escape the sweltering of summer. Now we're pacing, anticipating the arrival of Spring like an anxious mother with one hand on her round belly, counting the days until - or past - her due date. We are SO ready. We were ready a month ago.
But there are signs a change is coming. Whether consciously or not, we notice the days are getting longer. Wasn't it dark at 4:30 yesterday? It's only twilight, and it's already 5:30! Somehow, somewhere in our beings, we can almost hear the growth happening beneath the snow and soil, and yet the trees stand chattering, not at all looking like they believe for an instant Spring will ever come again.
While we yet inhabit the inner places that Winter facilitates, we are readying to cross the threshold. We are preparing to step outside, to feel the warmth of the sun and smell the daffodils and wonder again (as when we were children) at those pretty yellow weeds that we will later in the summer be yanking up to save our lawns: the dandelion. But before the first tulip pops up through the snow, before the grass dons its green dress, we will be for a time in-between.
The liminality of February comes each year, bringing with it the groundhog, Valentine's Day, myths and stories and rhymes. Here in the US the Groundhog watches for his shadow, while in Ireland and Wales they still watch to see whether the Cailleach will have enough sunshine at Imbolc to gather more firewood for a long, deep Winter, or will instead be thwarted by storms - which in this tradition actually heralds an imminent Spring.
Each year I myself await this birth with as much anticipation and impatience as I did the year before. I'm intolerant of the in-between - like most of my generation I'd much rather either submerge myself in one place or another. It's frustrating to know something wonderful is coming, yet be stuck with the burden of an over-ripe Present. Growth must be harvested, or it will die. And there is a pinnacle, it seems, where something has grown just about as much as it's going to, and we are inspired with a sense of urgency for change.
This is the human condition - we move in cycles of life and death, of birth and rebirth, and with each cycle brings a new in-between. This year, I have committed to making the most of this in-between, rather than missing the scenery because I'm too busy focusing on tomorrow's Spring. This is a time of reflection. What am I going to miss about this season of my life? What unexpected possibilities might this next season bring? What has my time in the darkness of Winter yielded me, and what do I intend to plant this Spring?
Yet for all my plans, I wait in the doorway of Winter and Spring, knowing full well that the miracle of life and the universe is that I don't know! I will make plans, but always knowing that both Sunshine and Shadow will be a part of this next new season. There will be storms breaking on the horizon, and as with any storm, they will bring damage....and also life giving rains.
This moment is beautiful, for all its frustrations and anxieties. When we stand liminal we have an opportunity to look back with an honest eye, and also to look forward with that most treasured of gifts: hope.
Spring is coming. You will miss the overgrown baby in your belly, just as much as you celebrate the joy of sunshine again coming into your life. Take the time to grieve the things that will be passing. All too soon the heat of Summer will be here again, and you will wonder why it was you never appreciated Winter when it was here.
May your Spring bring you new hope, new possibilities, new joys, and just enough storms to nurture your future harvest.